Wormhole

We had to be created at some point.

How can we be sure that we can die? Yes, our bodies can fail, but I am no longer sure that ‘we’ die. How do you define yourself? Are you your body alone? I know I am more than just this physical sack of skin holding my blood and organs together, separating my thoughts from yours. But when that physical force fails, my thoughts are now only just free to be.

With that being said, I think comes and even more frightening thought than the conventional idea of death, but the idea that ‘we’ can never die. We can never stop thinking. We can block off memories of past lives, and choose to come again and be reborn as a fresh individual, but ‘we’ as a soul, can never be “done.”

We can have soul mates, whom we might meet up with and even conceive beautiful plans with while recovering in our place of rest and preparing to return to this earth (which is just a projection from all of our perceived thoughts) or we can build our own walls and choose to do things on our own as pure individuals.

Each time we come, we can allow ourselves as much or as little access to ourselves as we choose, but unfortunately, there is no end.

An that is a scarier thought than death in itself.

Because I think it must become boring in the vast openness of ‘nothing’ outside of this world. So we as souls created something beautiful. To both challenge ourselves, but also to pass our infinite time. So with knowing that we all as souls or spirits have come together to create this universe in both it’s great magnitude, but also it’s very small connected form, it will hopefully lead us to remembering our purpose in it’s initial creation. That this is a place of joy and individuality and a place to take form, and create.

So what have you created today, as opposed to destroyed.


 

And The Wonder Of It All Is I’m Living Just To Fall More In Love With You

So I’m just gonna go ahead and say it. My dreams have been beyond crazy. I’ve also seen having some experiences that are much more than ‘normal’ for a lack of a better word. This post is going to be super short, because I can never find the words to properly describe the phenomena that I’ve been going through. Thoughts I’ve had, feelings I’ve felt, dreams I’ve dreamt. But then also times I’ve gone through in day to day life where it feels like time pauses for me, and I zone out, but not for anyone else. Or weirder still, when everyone else freezes and I continue to move, and think.

It’s become just more than anything I’ve experienced in my 30 years of life but I keep justifying it but saying to myself that it must be real, since I am experiencing it, and I am real… soooooo?

But to have dreams that are in gold and feelings that are in light. To close your eyes and instead of having the darkness you can literally be able to turn over every piece of that darkness to create something new, while your eyes remain closed… its been beyond my understanding until now and even at this moment it’s more than I fully comprehend but its beautiful and the universe that awaits… its almost like it’s been waiting for someone to discover it in this fashion. Because it’s been treating me in such an interesting way.

Anyways. That’s it for now. I have nothing else to say other than it’s been confusing yet beautiful.

-Delerious?/Deeper-

Joined at the Hip.

Controlling your thoughts has become paramount.

To the point where connections with others becomes more than just a “possibility” but a terrifying reality.

I haven’t posted anything here in a long time because at this point there are no words to describe what is happening. How do you describe the feeling of sharing on mind yet having two bodies? Did you create this world for the two of you? Was this world a byproduct of your thoughts? how much can you control? How much should you control?

Either way shit becomes real every so often and then after sleeping fades away. But I cannot forget waking up this Saturday morning with a sore elbow for no good reason. All day I couldn’t describe the pain. No it wasn’t a sore muscle. No it wasn’t from sleeping funny. No it didn’t need to be stretched or anything like that. It just hurt. In a new and weird way. Later that night, the person I feel I share this connection revealed to me they got into a fight friday night and injured their elbow. So now not only can we connect  with our thoughts, but our bodies are joint in a way we both never knew was possible

So where do we go from here? Are we the same person? A fear I have to let go of.

Do we have to have the same thoughts in order to successfully move forward? Another thought that crosses my mind… or our mind… or my half of the mind. I don’t even know.

Or do we have to forget about each other for the sake of the universe, which slowly melts away each time we believe we are this connected.

Or… The most successful thought we’ve had to date, do we both believe and therefore create a third party “God” to stand above us that has our best interest in mind. And the only way to continue forward, is by maintaining a complete trust in this “God.”

God being whatever we make it. A representation of love, trust, forgiveness, joy and peace? All things good? Equality? Rest?

Whatever way it is, it makes us go from two individual bodies sharing one mind struggling, to two people trusting a God who has our best interest in mind.

But then it’s become more difficult, because we have to decide what is good.

And we have been arguing about that.

This my dear friends has been hell on loop. And hopefully once we make it through we create heaven.

Girl Let’s Talk About Love Is It Everything You Hoped For? Or Do The Feeling Haunt You / This Maybe The Night That My Dreams Might Let Me Know

First off, let me say two things. One, I wouldn’t have wished this on my worst enemy or my closest friend, the journey has been long… but if you can push through, it’ll be worth it, but it takes a strength like no other. Two, I’m still in awe of what has transpired and hope that my faith in this will no longer wavier, and that the struggle is no more.

So… to start and get it out of the way, I told you about the night when my vision narrowed and went dark? Well when I finally had a chance to tell K and he asked me if it was such and such a time/day and that he went through something similar. So that was crazy.

The clues have been here all along, and getting stronger each step of the way.

It’s like our two bodies shared one mind/consciousness. And on this journey, we both started at our own starting point. with our own viewpoints and information set. But after we met in the physical, we slowly started to share information, and our subconscious minds started interweaving beyond our physical knowledge. Leaving clues and signals for our weaker “minds” or every day conscious thought along the way. Through music, and art and external simulation… basically everything we see everyday. It’s like our subconsciousness has the power to influence other weaker consciousnesses to produce this phenomenal encounter for ourselves.

The more we denied what we felt, or the possibility of this being real, the more the signals worked against us. But the more we both believed, the more our subconscious minds were working together, and almost working in the same direction, or towards each other, then the more power we had to make those signals both stronger and the more we acknowledged them with our physical bodies, the easier it because.

I started writing more (in a notebook)… and I believe he started writing music.  We haven’t been able to make it work, because our thoughts were at different parts of the “mind” at different times. But once we both made it to the center 2-3 nights ago, it felt like that moment when you are waking up from a dream, but still half asleep… but we could control it. We knew it was each other, and it was like we both passed through the center of each others half of the mind. It was like a funnel, like a tornado, but also like one of those sand timers. But the more time both of our consciousness spent at the same place, the intersecting point together at the same time, the larger it became.

And, so we were able to communicate through thought. With both of us maintaining full knowledge that it was happening in that moment. The more faith we had, the longer the feeling stayed, and the wider the opening became. Because the opening was made of our thoughts. So the more we shared the same thoughts, the more we shared the same “space” in the subconsciousness.  We could tell when we weren’t thinking the same thoughts, or having the same desires, because the “tunnel” would narrow.  It also has felt more prevalent since. Like, yeah… this is for real. And it’s unfortunate that I haven’t remember it before, because I feel like it’s not the first time this has happened. But now I know for sure, and there is no going back.

Now I’ve made clues for myself. I’ve written it down. I have faith in us.

So yes, I believe in soul mates. I believe in twin flames. I believe there is more out there than our human mind and conscious thought can ever contain at once. But two minds? Two minds can contain so much more than one. And when two bodies can figure out the path to open up the subconscious mind to one another through love and sacrifice, then there is true power.

Allowing the path to clear, wanting true happiness for each other, and accepting the mind and body and soul of each other to allow the thoughts to flow freely will allow the thoughts to feel comfortable enough to intermingle with each other.

We’ve done it. We love each other. We’ve made it.

No going back.

We are everything we have created. And it is amazing.

And this is the birth of love.


-Kendrick Lamar & SZA/ All The Stars-

Before The Day, Before The Light Before The World Revolved Around The Sun / You And I Were Made To Worship, You And I Are Called To Love

There’s only one logical answer for this. There’s only one thing I can even begin to believe.

Mainly because this whole situation has been BEYOND anything that could ever be explained or understood by anyone. It has left me suicidal at times and wondering what is the point of life. Yet at the same time believing in miracles. And therefore, I’ve hated myself.

All I have ever wanted was to love and be loved.

Simple right?

You’d think. But when love is all about trust and faith… the question remains, faith in what? What you think? What you must know to be true? Faith in yourself and your thoughts?

That can no longer be possible for me. Because my thoughts have turned out to be unreliable. I have gotten to the point where I can not even trust the thoughts in my own head. And that is why I wanted to kill myself.

You see I have my own very distinct thoughts. Which I can control and I am happy and satisfied with. They are a true representation of me. But then this other voice comes in. And it’s like all it wants is to tease me, yet it says it loves me. It continually wants me to trust it to no end. It slows down time and ‘we’ converse. ‘We’ agree on things and chat so to speak. ‘We’ admit to our faults and agree to forgive. ‘We’ both acknowledge our stubbornness and the fact that this is fucken messed up and there’s no manual or how to book for what ‘we’re’ going through. Yet ‘we’ continue to fight it.

Maybe because it’s so out there. So not ‘normal’.

I’m decided to put my trust in God. After all this time, and searching since I left the church last summer, part of the voice tells me that I have to trust it. And that since I know good wins, I have to believe it is “good” facilitating all this. And after really thinking about what God is to me, I’ve decided, God is not only the representation of all good, but the creator of it. As well as the creator of evil. ‘God’ to me is the creator of all. The beginning of everything if you will. So for me, God has arranged all of this. And just like in the bible God sent his son to earth, or created man in his image, or created everything for that matter, I feel like things have been put in my mind like this…. so bear with me as I try and get it out….

God to me is the source.

The start of it all. Where dark and light broke into two. Like the intersection of the infinity sign. And then, almost like multiplication, light and dark continued breaking into more pieces, and forming more “words” and “things” yet everything was connected to the source, or “God” as it’s been aptly named through the years. Therefore, us, and our consciousness, are all connected to the source, or to God. Did “God” form us? In a way yes, over the many many years our consciousness’s were molded through all the minds that came before us. Did “God” know our thoughts in the womb before we were born? Yes, because all of our thoughts are joint to those who have come before, and then we continue to expand the universe by creating new thoughts throughout our respective lives.

Everything is in existence because we have created it. Or minds before us created it, or thought it into being and we continued to believe in it. All of us are connected if we would only listen and be aware of the connection. Are we made to worship a “God”? Perhaps. Seems like honoring the initial source that allowed us life in the first place seems proper. Do I think society now-a-days has taken God to a level that is doesn’t need to be? Yes. I think there have been many rules and evils put in many churches or many beliefs that are unnecessary. But I believe that ultimately, we as humans, were made to  honor the source, and in doing so, we are ultimately honoring ourselves as we are all connected.

Damn I just wrote that and my whole body started tingling and my hands wanted to raise up.

I’ve learned that yes, we are made to love. We are made to worship. Because it’s almost like we made ourselves. So in honoring with our life, and our thoughts, we honor the source or God the creator, which is directly worshiping not only good and light and love, but us as well, as we are all connected through infinity.


-Chris Tomlin/Made to Worship-

If I Told You This Was Only Gonna Hurt If I Warned You That The Fire’s Gonna Burn Would You Let Me Do It First? Do It All In The Name Of Love

It’s undeniable.

The connection we have. K has on a few occasions now mentioned things in person to me that were in connection to things that I never told him in person or over the phone, but we had ‘mental conversations’ about. And he and I both recognize the discrepancies.

And I think it’s disturbing to him. I get it. I went hrough months of “Am I crazy/ maybe I should kill myself” before I even attempted to start embracing this.

So we’ve had some interesting conversations these last few weeks to say the least. Some where I was maybe thinking things, and he would be leading me on with comments or “sound effects” while playing with the kids to get my thoughts in the ‘right’ direction. Or it seems like every song that plays or TV show/movie is directly related to what is going on with us, speaking into my life and what is going on during that exact moment.

It’s been difficult. Neither of us has been sleeping well, since the subconscious never stops. It’s almost like the more we believe, or trust this, the more places there is for it to fall apart, and that’s scary. I personally have had moments where I felt like my world has actually started fading away, both in colour, size, feel… everything, and I felt I had to actively choose to believe in what I KNEW was real, just to keep it around. The mind is a strong thing that’s for sure.

It had been going well since at least Christmas Eve. We can communicate both physically (obviously) as well as mentally, at least I believe. But what we both need to recognize is that we cannot, in any way control each other. We have to leave choice to the individual.

We have to find the balance in love.

I KNOW good wins. I’ve somehow known this from the start. Whether this is something we decided together or what, I’m not sure. All I know is that I have faith in us. Enough faith that I’m still alive. Not that I think K would ever hurt me, that’s not the issue. But I have enough faith in this situation, that I think our worlds could have depended on it today.

I was literally lying on my bed this afternoon, and I’m not sure if we were both considering this at the same time or what, but imagine the following.

What if everything in your ENTIRE world, was based upon a collective consciousness. One ‘thought’ that originally formed from one consciousness. That ‘thought’ separated into two, and then reincarnated into four and eight and so on. Whether that original thing was a ‘thought’ or it was just there or whatever, it somehow separated into itself (perhaps big-bang style, or just because it was able to and wanted to, and there are possibly more out there, like stars in the sky). Then it did it again, and over and over until something more tangible arose. Like light/darkness or stars/sky, and so it continued. Enter humans.

Meaning, ultimately, all humans would share the same source consciousness. There would be no “God” but we, by just being human, would have the ability to be connected to ‘The source” named whatever you like. If calling it God works best for you, have at it. If worshiping nature and all those elements that came before stirs your soul, then by all means go ahead etc. etc.

What I think is most important, is the recognition that we are all connected. We come from the same place. Meaning EVERY thought you’ve ever thought is true and exists just because you have THOUGHT it. Aliens? If you thought it, it’s true. Angels? Somewhere out there just by saying the word, which leads us to demons, again, must be real. Yes there are definitely MAJOR good and evil forces at play, because we as a collective consciousness all believe those to be true, and therefore give them power. But what else do we believe to be true? What else can we create for ourselves if we have allowed the world and creation to come this far?

If we as a unit of minds and thoughts have created this world, then what else can we create?

Anything. If we believe enough to create it, trust it, and hold onto it. But I don’t think it can be anything so crazy that it would go against the majority of humanities collective consciousness. We cannot, on our own, imagine time to stand still because 7 billion people believe time as a very important idea that exists, unless perhaps your faith, trust and belief in your OWN thoughts was strong enough.

I believe that the greatest thought of all, though, is love, for a myriad of reasons. First because it builds up creation as a whole. When has showing true, selfless love, ever hurt someone? Also, because I think the majority of humanity believes in it, and therefore it holds the most power in the collective consciousness. Therefore, when you tap into the power of love, you are joining forces with the majority, whether you know it or not.

So imagine the ultimate sacrifice, dying for someone you love, think of what kind of power THAT love would yield? Or even better yet? When two people involved are willing to die for each other, really and truly? Two people honestly ready to die for the person they love. That’s love. That’s unstoppable. That’s power maybe yet to be seen on this earth. That’s like two Jesus’s fighting it out to be scarified on the cross.

To add even more depth to that, what if the truest form of a twin flame, is two human forms, who’s souls were created from the original split, or the original big bang if you will. Which is why, yes there has been so much creation since (the entire universe) and since the collective consciousness remaining within the earth will hold up the balance of the world, with or without the love of the twin flames therefore it is not necessary for these two souls to be together. But the mental battle they are going through is like nothing ever witnessed before. Because they literally have seen everything in creation up until that point in their respective pasts, yet each has entirely different histories.

So who wins?

And why, knowing the power they can have, would they deny themselves this opportunity? Because who know how many billions of year before the two souls from the start will meet on this earth again.

We know good wins, that’s been revealed to us. And that this is the birth of love, the most powerful energy available.

But why fight over who dies?

When we know one has already chosen to sacrifice. I’ve accepted it. Because it was in the past. Does it make you mad that I accepted it so readily? Do you want me to fight more?

Is that why our discussion consisted of it won’t work? Or is the mind battle becoming to much. Should we continue to fight it? Because I’m about worn out by all this back and forth.

I think we should just accept that love wins. That good wins. That this is the birth of love.

Something that was predetermined long before we got here. And we don’t know where it is going, because each individual makes their own choices. But love wins.

And I love you, no matter what. I love you.


-Bebe Rexha, Martin Garrix/All In The Name Of Love-

What If You Were The Music?

So I haven’t been writing much because I’ve been trying to be sensitive to others involved. But tonight I got the a-okay… I’m hoping this doesn’t ruin how far we’ve come. But I’m going to write anyways. And just trust what I both know, and feel. And yes lately that can be two different things. Two very different things.

Imagine this. You’re inner voice, the thoughts in your head, you’re most intimate thoughts… belonged to your soulmate. Your twin flame. Your true love. Pick one.

And the more you recognize that, the more you both believe it, the more of a powerful connection you two have.

It’s like you become the greatest love story ever told, or better yet, you’re all love to ever be, because you created it for yourself. From the beginning of time. What if this world were to exist solely for the purpose of the realization of your love. And every song ever written, every show ever produced, every sun rise ever risen, even every movement from your body, was leading you closer to your twin flame. Because the two souls were connected at one point. And planned this moment out from the start.

So it’s like that opposing soul exists in the physical world, and now you’ve finally met them, but they’ve also existed in your consciousness this whole time.

Now this doesn’t mean that every thought you’ve ever had belongs to them.

No, you don’t get off that easy.

Your thoughts are still your thoughts. But throughout time, there were moments where we had those little conversations in our head (we all know what I mean). That voice… what if it belonged to them. And they were having those SAME CONVERSATIONS AT THE SAME TIME!

Could you even imagine the power that could hold?

Everything, EVERYTHING, would be possible at that point. It’s like every thought you ever thought was for this reason. Everything you ever went through was to serve this purpose.

So now. As you sit and converse with this voice from time to time, the only thing standing in the way of everything great and glorious, is fear.

Do you trust the things you discuss in your head. Do you attempt to plan a future? Do you trust the other to do you right? Do you both ask the universe for to much and blow it all? Do you trust the movements you feel in your body. Do you trust everything you’ve known up until this point and recognize the difference? Acknowledging that something has changed. Or do you let fear get involved. Do you give way to paranoia because this is all too ‘out there’ or unbelievable.

Or do you follow through on the plans you make together. With yourself. With the other person. Alone. And trust they are listening. Hearing. And having their say in your mind as well.

Easier said than done. I’ll tell you that.