Controlling your thoughts has become paramount.
To the point where connections with others becomes more than just a “possibility” but a terrifying reality.
I haven’t posted anything here in a long time because at this point there are no words to describe what is happening. How do you describe the feeling of sharing on mind yet having two bodies? Did you create this world for the two of you? Was this world a byproduct of your thoughts? how much can you control? How much should you control?
Either way shit becomes real every so often and then after sleeping fades away. But I cannot forget waking up this Saturday morning with a sore elbow for no good reason. All day I couldn’t describe the pain. No it wasn’t a sore muscle. No it wasn’t from sleeping funny. No it didn’t need to be stretched or anything like that. It just hurt. In a new and weird way. Later that night, the person I feel I share this connection revealed to me they got into a fight friday night and injured their elbow. So now not only can we connect with our thoughts, but our bodies are joint in a way we both never knew was possible
So where do we go from here? Are we the same person? A fear I have to let go of.
Do we have to have the same thoughts in order to successfully move forward? Another thought that crosses my mind… or our mind… or my half of the mind. I don’t even know.
Or do we have to forget about each other for the sake of the universe, which slowly melts away each time we believe we are this connected.
Or… The most successful thought we’ve had to date, do we both believe and therefore create a third party “God” to stand above us that has our best interest in mind. And the only way to continue forward, is by maintaining a complete trust in this “God.”
God being whatever we make it. A representation of love, trust, forgiveness, joy and peace? All things good? Equality? Rest?
Whatever way it is, it makes us go from two individual bodies sharing one mind struggling, to two people trusting a God who has our best interest in mind.
But then it’s become more difficult, because we have to decide what is good.
And we have been arguing about that.
This my dear friends has been hell on loop. And hopefully once we make it through we create heaven.