We’re All Kings And Queens With A Throne Of Our Own Hate To Be Here Alone

You guys this just keeps getting better/more insane each day.

So I posted this morning. And at that time, my ‘feelings’ were manageable. But throughout the morning and into the afternoon they increased like crazy. It got to the point that I felt I had some sort of ‘aura’ or light sensation going on with my eyes. I also could barely keep track of anything my boss was talking about at that time, which looking back was major because I was the only other person in the office today and he made the decision to buy a house and was asking my advice…. hopefully I gave him good stuff?

Anyways, it got so bad that I’m pretty sure I only accomplished about 2 hours worth of work all day. Until my boss stepped out for a bite around 2 and I felt I needed to see a Doctor like, now. Right now.

So I did the next best thing. I called our emergency health link number for advice on my symptoms. Something I have NEVER done in my life!

The nurse on the phone was really sweet. She asked me a bunch of questions. Then slowed down and asked me a few more serious questions. Then put me on hold to ‘research a few things’ before finally coming back on the line and recommending I go straight to my nearest Emergency room.

From what she could tell it was something neurological, and sounded like it needed immediate attention. She asked if I knew where the nearest emergency was, and suggested I have someone drive me there. Right now.

I said my thank you’s and hung up. Dreading what I thought I already knew was going to be the answer to this saga.

A brain tumour.

Probably a large fucking inoperable spreading cancerous terminal brain tumour.

So what did I do?Casually finished up the few things I had on my desk. Checked the wait times at the emergency rooms in my city to plan my night, called my mom to see if she could pick up my kids so I could go to the hospital, then waited for A to get back so I could skip out early.

Once I made a lame excuse about Z being sick to A (see, kids ARE useful lol), I headed to the emergency room that was closest to work, but had a longer wait time at around 3 hours. I had reasoned in my head at the time that the facility I chose would be better equipped to handle my obvious need for heavy-duty scans and equipment, unlike the emergency room closer to my house, thats wait was only 1 hour.  While I was driving, my mom called, but I ignored her call (below)

IMG_3493 (Edited)

811=Health link

She then texted, which I didn’t get until I finally parked next to what I thought was the emergency room entrance.  Needless to say getting this text was kinda mind-blowing. Like what are the odds, that my dad and I would both be at the same hospital at the same time? Not many. But wait there’s more!

IMG_3494 (Edited)They literally rolled him in at the exact same time that I was being triaged. I parked in the wrong spot. Found out there were 2 separate emergency rooms in this hospital. Wandered the halls for a good 10 minutes looking for emerg. Checked with information who said my dad had already been pre-admitted to another building so they would be using the other emergency room. And yet when it was finally my turn in a line of maybe 3-4 people, my dad’s gurney rolls in and I see him and we wave and laugh. My dad’s hilarious. We’re both here apparently for “medical emergencies” but we’re both like nah we’re good, you do you and I’m good over here. and the staff was all confused. It was pretty funny. Anyways his paramedic comes over and lets me know they are taking him straight to the cath lab because he needs a procedure done, and they would keep me updated.

So I’m still in the waiting room an hour later (yeah we all know my symptoms aren’t emergency room quality, but I DID throw up while waiting, since nausea is now part of my repertoire… 3 days strong), when the same paramedic taps my shoulder.



Your Dad’s had a heart attack…………………………………….

Is he okay? (some panic because of the ridiculously unnecessarily long pause, gosh some people’s kids)

Yeah, yeah! He’s fine! Do you wanna come see him?


So she leads me over to where my dad’s lying on a gurney near the door, talking the whole time.

Your dad had a heart attack but we did a procedure and cleared a blockage from his heart where we placed a stint in that will have to remain in place for a year.  He’s all drugged up now, and we’re taking him to “another hospital” since there’s no room here, and we need to monitor him for a 3 days.  (yeah for some reason I remember it pretty much word for word).

So I chatted with my dad for a moment, and the first thing he said to me was ‘I guess this is my wake up call’ and then delved into how he was pissed about missing the game tonight. Then the paramedic asked me if I would relay the information onto my mom, and I agreed, and that was that.

I walked back to the waiting room, and as I walked, I realized that as the paramedic had been telling me about my dad, all my intense “symptoms” had dissipated. I’m not saying I don’t feel the energies any more. I’m saying all the things that grew throughout today, like the light aura and the fuzziness in my thinking, gone. I felt like C again. Well C plus this new whatever it is. The point is, I didn’t feel like I needed to be in the emergency room anymore. So I walked out. And every step I took made me feel better. And clearer. And the more I believed that I was there because of a connection with my dad, the better I felt.

Maybe I was sensing my dad’s energy. Maybe everything in the universe, plus my connection urged me to be in that exact spot, in that exact time for my dad today. Because I was the one who called my mom and told her that my dad had had a heart attack. I was the one who knew to start the conversation with dad’s ok, but etc. I was the one who knew not to throw a long pause in there. I was the one who had my mom occupy my kids, so my dad was alone. So that my mom wasn’t there berating him about diet and exercise from the minute it happened.  I was there smile and wave at him in the emergency room. And the more I thought all that was a possibility, the more at peace I felt.

Now the next step, is narrowing down what each “feeling” or “sensation” represents.

It’s a work in progress.

-Matisyahu/One Day-

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